SPOOF TEXT

 

Spoof Text

Definition and Social Function of Spoof
Spoof is a text which tells factual story, happened in the past time with unpredictable and funny ending. Its social function is to entertain and share the story.

Generic Structure of Spoof
1. Orientation
2. Events
3. Twist

Language Feature of Spoof
1. Focusing on people, animals or certain things
2. Using action verb; ate, ran, etc
3. Using adverb of time and place
4. Told in chronological order

Example of spoof text:

1. The Boss and The Trainee

       A Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" No", replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?" "No", replied the Managing Director. "Thats Good!", replied the trainee and put down the phone!

 2. What time is it?

A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, "Excuse me.
Do you know what the time is?" The tramp replied, "I'm sorry - I don't have a watch, so I don't know the time."
The man apologized for waking the tramp and the couple walked away.

The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp's shoulder until he woke up again.
The woman said, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'm afraid I've lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?" The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he politely told the woman that he didn't have a watch and didn't know the time.

After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea.
He opened the bag that contained all his possessions and got out a pen, a piece of paper and some string. On the paper, he wrote down, 'I do not have a watch. I do not know the time'.
He then hung the paper round his neck and eventually dropped off again.

After about 15 minutes, a policeman who was walking through the park noticed the tramp asleep on the bench, and the sign around his neck.
He woke the tramp up and said, "I read your sign. I thought you'd like to know that it's 2:30 p.m."



3. The Perfect Husband?
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's
only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$80,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone is???!!!"


4. That Phone is Off
Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.

Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.

“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.

The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”

Notes on the Spoof’s Generic Structure

Orientation: Dave was a lucky man. He suddenly became a very rich man because of the death of his rich uncle who had no children. He inherited his uncle’s money.

Event 1: Being rich, he wanted to set up his estate company

Event 2: He had his new office. In his office, he pretended to be a very successful businessman. He acted as had an important client. He showed by making conversation on the phone.

Twist: The man whom he showed is a telephone technician. He came to Dave’s office to connect that phone.

5. Loving Money Too Much

 There was a man who liked money very much. He worked all of his life and wanted to save all of his money for his own future. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.

Even, just before he died, he said to his wife; "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he asked his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day, he really died. Then he was stretched out in the casket. The wife was sitting there in black clothes next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box in her hands. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. After that the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Not long after that, her friend said, "I hope you were not crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

The wife turned to her friend and replied; "Yes, because I have promised." Then she continued; "I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." Feeling shocked, her friend said; "You mean that you have put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" Then the wife answered; "Surely I did. I got it all together, put all the money into my account and I just wrote him a check."

                                                                                                                       (Re-written from www.onlyfunnystories.com)

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DIRECT AND INDIRECT SPEECH

DIRECT AND INDIRECT SPEECH

Kalimat Langsung Dan Kalimat Tak Langsung

Direct speech adalah kutipan asli suatu pembicaraan tanpa adanya suatu perubahan. Sedangkan Indirect speech adalah bentuk kalimat laporan yang berguna untuk menceritakan kembali pembicaraan/pendapat seseorang yang mana mengalami modifikasi tertentu.

-  quoted speech menyatakan kata-kata yang sebenarnya, ini disebut direct speech (kalimat langsung). Kalimat-kalimat tersebut tidak dihubungkan oleh “that” melainkan harus ditandai dengan tanda kutip.

-  reported speech memberikan isi pokok kata-kata yang dipakai oleh si pembicara dan bukan kata-kata yang sebenarnya ini disebut indirect speech (kalimat tidak langsung). Dalam indirect speech kalimat-kalimat itu dihubungkan dengan kata “that”. Dibawah ini akan dijelaskan bagaimana menuliskan kalimat langsung (direct speech)

How to write direct speech:

1. put a comma after said             ----------- >>   Jane said,

2. Put a quotation marks             ----------- >>    Jane said, “

3. Capitalize the firs word of the quotation      -------------- >>   Jane said, “C

4. Write the quotation. Put a final period.        -------------- >>  Jane said, “Cats are fun to watch.

5. Put quotation mark after the period.             ------------- >>   Jane said, “Cats are fun to watch.”

Bentuk waktu reporting verb tidak diubah, akan tetapi bentuk waktu reported speech harus diubah berdasarkan atas bentuk waktu reporting verb.

Dua cara perubahan bentuk waktu pada reported speech :

Peraturan I

Kalau reporting verb itu past tense, bentuk waktu kata kerja dalam reported speech itu harus diubah ke dalam salah satu dari empat bentuk past tense.

Direct Speech - Indirect Speech

Simple present - menjadi - Simple past

He said ” The woman comes “ He said that the woman came

Dari contoh di atas dapat disimpulkan perubahan untuk bentuk waktu dari reported speech sebagai berikut :

Direct Speech Simple present Present continuous Present perfect Present perfect continuous Simple past Past continuous Future Present

Indirect Speech Simple past Past continuous Past perfect Past perfect continuous Past perfect Past perfect continuous Past Past

Kecuali:

Kalau reported speech berhubungan dengan kebenaran umum atau fakta yang sudah menjadi

kebiasaan, present indefinite atau simple present dalam reported speech tidak diubah ke dalam

bentuk lampau yang sesuai, melainkan tetap persis sebagaimana adanmya, contoh :

Direct Speech - Indirect Speech

He said, “The sun rises in the east” - He said that the sun rises in the east

Dalam reported speech, bila present tense diubah ke dalam past tense dengan peraturan I, kata sifat, kata kerja atau kata keterangan umumnya diubah:

Direct Speech this = ini these = ini come = datang here = di sini, ke sini hence = dari sini hither = ke tempat ini ago = yang lalu now = sekarang today = hari ini tomorrow = besok yesterday = kemarin last night = tadi malam next week = minggu depan thus = begini  contoh : He said, “I will come here”.

Indirect Speech that = itu those = itu go = pergi there = di sana, ke sana thence = dari sana thither = ke tempat itu before = lebih dahulu then = pada waktu itu that day = hari itu next day = hari berikutnya the previous day = sehari sebelumnya the previous night = semalam sebelumnya the following week = minggu berikutnya so = begitu He said that he would go there

Akan tetapi kalau this, here, now dan sebagainya menunjukan pada benda, tempat atau waktu ketika berbicara, maka tidak dilakukan perubahan.

Agus said, “This is my pen”. - Agus said that this was his pen

(ketika berbicara pena berada di tangan pembicara)

Peraturan II

1) Bila reported speech kalimat berita

Dengan peraturan ini reporting verb dianggap dalam present atau future tense tertentu dan kapan saja ini terjadi, bentuk waktu dari kata kerja dalam reported speech tidak diubah sama sekali dalam mengubah direct menjadi indirect speech.

Reporting verb - Reported speech

Present tense - Any tense (bentuk waktu apapun)

Direct : She says to her friend, ” I have been writing “.

Indirect : She says to her friend that he has been writing. (tidak berubah)

Direct : She has told you, ” I am reading “.

Indirect : She has told you that he is reading. (tidak berubah)

Direct : She will say, ” You have done wrongly “.

Indirect : She will tell you that you have done wrongly. (tidak berubah)

Direct : She will say,” The boy wasn’t lazy “.

Indirect : She will tell them that the boy wasn’t lazy. (tidak berubah)

2) Bila reported speech merupakan kalimat tanya

a) Reporting verb say atau tell diubah menjadi ask atau inquire. Dengan mengulangi kata tanya dan mengubah tenses jika pertanyaannya dimulai dengan kata tanya diberitakan.

Direct He said to me, “Where are you going?” He said to me, “What are you doing?”

Indirect He asked me where I was going He inquired of me what I was doing

b) Dengan menggunakan if atau whether sebagai penghubung antara reporting verb dan reported speech dan mengubah tenses, jika pertanyaannya dimulai dengan kata kerja diberitakan :

Direct He said to me, “Are you going away today?” He asked me , “can you come along?”

Indirect He asked me whether I was going away that day. He asked me if I could come along.

3) Kalimat perintah (imperative sentences)

Bila reported speech merupakan kalimat perintah, reporting verb say atau tell harus diubah menjadi kata kerja tertentu yang menandakan :

· command (perintah), misalnya ordered, commanded, dsb yang berarti menyuruh, memerintahkan.

· precept (petunjuk, bimbingan, didikan), misalnya advised yang berarti menasehati.

· request (permohonan), misalnya asked yang berarti meminta, memohon.

· entreaty (permohonan yang sangat mendesak), misalnya begged yang berarti meminta, memohon (dengan sangat).

· prohibition (larangan), misalnya forbade yang berarti melarang.

Dalam perubahannya dari kalimat langsung menjadi kalimat tidak langsung, modus imperatif harus diganti dengan infinitif. Tegasnya, reported verb (kata kerja yang diberitakan atau kata kerja dalam reported speech) harus diubah menjadi infinitive with to.

a) Command :

Direct: He said to his servant, “Go away at once!”

Indirect:He ordered his servant to go away at once

b) Precept :

Direct: She said to her son, “Study hard!”

Indirect: He advised her son to study hard 

c) Request :

Direct: He said to his friend, “Please lend me your pen!”

Indirect: He asked his friend to be kind enough to lend him his pencil

d) Entreaty :

Direct: He said to his master, “Pardon me, sir”

Indirect: He begged his master to pardon him.

e) Prohibition :

Direct: She said to her daughter, “Don’t go there”

Indirect: She forbade her daughter to go there

Kalau reporting verb say atau tell diubah menjadi reported verb ask, order, command dsb (tapi jika bukan forbid), predikatnya diubah ke dalam infinitive with to yang didahului oleh not atau no + infinitive with to.

Direct: She said to her daughter, “Don’t go there”

Indirect: She asked herdaughter not to go there.

4) Kalimat seru (exclamatory sentences)

Bilamana reported speech terdiri dari kalimat seru atau kalimat optatif, reporting verb say

atau tell harus diubah menjadi kata kerja tertentu yang semacam itu seperti exclaim, cry out,

pray dsb.

a) Exclamatory sentences

Direct: He said, “Hurrah! My old friend has come”

Indirect: He exclaimed with joy that his old friend had come.

b) Optative sentences (kalimat yang menyatakan harapan, pujian, dsb)

Direct: He said, “God bless you, my dear son “

Indirect: He prayed that God would bless his dear son

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